Usually the story goes boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy pops the question, boy and girl plan a wedding and get married, boy and girl move in together and live happily ever after. In my story however there is an added chapter, boy and girl sit around a conference table for 3 hours with 10 other people and find out where to start.........Since Kevin and I both require assistance with our activities of daily living just picking up and moving is not an option for either of us. We will both rely on the support of others to achieve our happily ever after.
The first step in the process was to get everyone on the same page, doing this required getting all the people that provide services to both of us in the same room at the same time. That step was not a complicated as I thought it would be, fortunately we were able to get a date that worked for all the individuals that needed to be there.
During this meeting, we were able to clarify what services we currently receive, what service we are eligible to receive, and what services we are not eligible to receive. That sounds simple enough right? I wish it were simple. The first hurdle we needed to over come in the meeting, was to make sure everyone present understood what our goal were and what we wanted. In the meeting we were told that some people who have disabilities and need services choose to just live together rather than get legally married so that they do not have to combine their incomes for the system and jeopardize losing services they need. Kevin and I had heard this advice before the meeting as well, but after discussing it together we decided this was not what we wanted to do. We want to live our lives as a married couple.
The second hurdle was for us all to understand what service we could and could not receive. We found out in the meeting that Kevin is not eligible to receive service from the Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA) because he is not considered to be in a state of crisis. In there eyes, since he is not homeless, not in physical danger, and his heath is not at risk, the does not need services. They do not take in to consideration that fact that wanting to be married, have a job and be a productive member of society is what Kevin wants and needs to be happy and feel good about himself. As a result, Kevin has chosen to receive services through a program called The Living at Home Wavier. This program will provide him with personal care support but not vocational/job support. Al
though this only helps to achieve some of the goals it is a start.
The third and final hurdle was to find out what kind of timeline we were looking at as far as when Kevin would be able to move to Baltimore County. We were happy to hear that Kevin's services would hopefully begin by the end of August in PG county and would be able to be transferred to Baltimore with as little as 60 days notice. This means we can choose our timeline and we will not be at the mercy of the system as far as that piece goes.
So where does that leave us........... we can now start to plan not only our wedding but also our lives together! A whole new set of hurdles awaits us......... But as always we do what it takes to get over them, we will reach the finish line, one way or another!
